Another night past midnight

So right now its midnight on April 21st, another day closer to having my loving wonderful husband back, this time for good. So far this deployment has had so many ups and downs. Some days, I feel like I can take it on and accomplish all my goals while he is gone, other days I am so sad, I have the worst feelings in the world and am constantly on edge. It has definitely been a rollercoaster. But for now, its 12am and a new day. I am going to try to take this day on and be happy. I am really trying to get back on track with my eating first and foremost. I have a special K protien shake in my fridge getting nice and cold for breakfast in the morning, then I am planning a long run at the gym. There are only 2-3 weeks left of school for me but between now and then I have a ton of work to do. 4 homework assignments, a strategic management paper, research paper, english portfolio and 4 finals stand between me and graduation. Tomorrow I have to force myself to get up and get the work done. Then hopefully I will be enjoying some much needed drinks with a few friends later tomorrow night. The one thing that can keep me motivated though is how supportive Justin is. Throughout college he really has been my biggest supporter. He reads all my papers, listens to my ideas, he has even gone to class with me when he has been on leave. The year before Justin left for bootcamp, he was a senior in high school and I was a freshman in college. He would come to the library with me all the time to work on homework. He has always been such an amazing support system. Throughout my never ending quest to lose this 15-20 pounds, he has always made me feel like I am beautiful. He makes me feel so good about myself all of the time. I am so lucky to have met him. He is honestly the sweetest most good hearted person you could ever meet. He never says anything bad about anyone, he is always a good person and truly cares. Because of that, he motivates me to do things I never thought I could. He gives me the strength to push through this deployment. When I go to the gym, he is what gives me the strength to keep running when my body tells me to give out. When I run, I put on Jack Johnson(Which is mine and Justins thing) then I just focus on something, the wall, a tree outside, a light anything and I just think about him. I think about how he is a combat veteran in 2 wars. How in these last 3 years he has pushed himself through more physical and mental challenges than the average person could handle. He doesnt even ask for any recognition for it. Instead he wakes up every morning just like any other day. And because of this, it makes me think, if he can do this, if he can go to afghanistan and work his ass off for 7 months, I can finish this run. Starting today, I want to start over fresh. I want to finish school strong, push myself hard in the gym and start taking care of myself the way I should. This is not how I envisioned this deployment going. It has been a lot bumpier than I ever imagined it would be this early on. But in the end, I know it will all be worth it. And in the end I want to be standing there, waiting for him to get off that bus, feeling accomplished, beautiful and healthy, ready to start our new lives together, finally.


The shoes I posted are the Nike Shox Justin bought me a few days before he left. Its time for me to put some serious miles on them!