Jumbled

At 2am this morning I was up wide awake and made a resolution to myself that starting today, I was going to start over. This deployment has been really hard on me so far and I am trying to take it one day at a time but Im finding it to feel impossible. So today, I ate much better than I have been, went for a 1.5 mile run at the gym and put together 2 new packages for Justin. I also went and got new iron supplements. I am anemic and have not been taking iron for months now. I feel so tired all the time and Im sure it is a mix of both the deployment and the defficiency but Im hoping this helps a little bit. Now its 930 and I am going to attempt going to bed soon. Staying up til 3 or 4 am definitely makes the days seem
10x longer than they need to be. I just need to get on a regular sleep pattern. So tonight I know I am going to need a little help falling asleep and Im going to take a sleeping pill. Hopefully within a week I will be falling back asleep at normal hours of the night instead of odd hours of the morning. The reason my title of this post is jumbled is because that is how I really feel lately. I feel like I am just sitting here waiting for something awful to happen everyday. I know that sounds terrible but its how I feel. I just wish I knew what was going on over there, I wish Justin could call more often to tell me he is okay. I feel like even when I am writing these posts they make absolutely no sense. I jump around from one topic to another, but that is how my brain has been lately. I have this massive to do list in my head and I cant focus on anything. Im not sure what exactly to do. But, I have been looking into packages at a local day spa and for like $150 you can do a 6 hour package. I have been thinking about doing something like that, to relax and feel refreshed. If anyone has any ideas on what to do to make this feeling go away I am very much open to suggestions.