17 and counting

So Its been 17 days since the last time I heard from Justin. He called on the 4th of July and said he would call in 2 weeks which would have been Sunday. Now Im just playing the waiting game which we all know how fun that is. Ive been wanting to write a blog but when it gets to so many days It seems to the the only thing on my mind.

Waiting for that phone to ring...

Is it just me or does it seem like the further we get along in this deployment the farther away it seems? I mean we are approaching homecoming and looking back at all the time that has already passed, you would think I would be jumping for joy, almost getting my husband back. Instead, I feel like its longer than ever until he is home. He has already been gone way too long and another few months seems unbearable. I will do it, because what other choice do I have? But I dont think I will keep my sanity on the way. Justin last called on the 4th of July. He said he would call in 2 weeks. Now here it is July 18th, exactly 2 weeks on the day and Im waiting. Im just so tired of waiting. This all needs to hurry up and be over!!!

Fitness Friday

This week I have been completely on track!! My eating is under control and Ive been working out. Ive veen eating small meals, lots of veggies, and snacks like goldfish, jello, and pretzels. These have been my workouts
Monday- 1 mile run
Tuesday -1 mile run
Wednesday- 2 mile run
Thursday- Rest Day
Friday- Run in the city, not sure how far but definitely hardest run of the week. I ran down at castle island in Boston. Its an area with a beach, an old revolutionary war fort, and 2 jettys that are paved that stick out into the water and meet with a big sitting area out on the water. I ran this today. I thought the wind would provide relief but instead it provided resistance.

I have also been trying to do workouts while I am watching tv like squats. weights. jumping jacks, pushups and bicycle crunches. I am trying really hard to stop stepping on the scale everyday. Justin got his mail cutoff date today so deployment is finally ending and I need to get in shape for my husband!!

Just a thought

Its 130am and like always Im awake unable to sleep. I have way too many thoughts on my mind, mostly bad, things I cant control. But, even though I have this nightly doom and gloom, there is something to look forward to. That is my favorite time of the day. I love when I first wake up in the morning. When I am struggling to wake up because of lack of sleep, still completely exhausted and my only concern is falling back to sleep. Its the one time of the day where I have no thoughts, where I dont think about the fact that my husband is deployed or anything else. As much as I hate trying to wake up, its the one time during the day I have a blank mind, and that is something I wish I had more often these days.

Checklist

After reading many blogs, I have picked up a few ideas of things I like that others do. Danielle's 10 on Tuesday and Katie's Fitness Friday. These are ideas I am going to steal. I like the idea of having set things to write about on certain days, that way it holds me accountible and my blog has different things to read about. I decided on Wednesdays I am going to start writing a checklist for the week of things I want to accomplish. Then the next week I will tell which things I did and my new list. This week here is my list

* Clean the car top to bottom. I have been looking online how to do auto detailing at home. Tomorrow before work, I'm headed to Walmart to buy some cleaning products and compressed air.

* Go through my clothes and donate the ones I do not wear anymore

* Run two more 2 mile runs and hopefully a 2.5 Mile


I would love to read about everyone elses weekly goals so post back in a comment!

Book Review

It is a rainy day here in Massachusetts and one of my favorite things to do on a day like this is sit inside with a good book. I have truly been slacking this summer on reading. Normally I do lots of reading at the beach but havent. Today I finally picked back up a book I have been in the process of reading for a long time, Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult. So far its great. If anyone is looking for a good read I would reccomend anything by her. She is the author of My Sister's Keeper that was turned into a move recently. Although that book is good my all time favorite book by her is The Tenth Circle. I would reccomend this book to everyone, it was a couldnt put down book. Normally I buy books from Target but lately Ive been buying off Amazon, they are so much cheaper. Another author I like a lot is Jane Green. The book Jemima J but Swapping Lives I wouldnt reccomend. I know most people who read my blog are interested in military wife things. Sadly there are not many books on this topic but I think I have boughten them all. Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul I like a lot. They are short stories by topic and very relatable. The other books are more know how books that are alright but geared toward every branch when we know the Marine Corps is very unique. One last thing is I wanted to try to start putting helpful info at the end of my blogs. Whether is be based on health, diet, fitness beauty, anything. I am constantly researching online and want to share some of the things I find.

Tidbit of the day: This website has podcasts that I download very often. It is called QuickAndDirtyTips.com The one I follow is called the Nutrition Diva. She explores different diet topics that are very current. They are about 5 minutes long and will definitely help learn healthier eating tricks!

10 on Tuesday

1. I stole this idea from Dani

2. I ran my second mile in a row today. Trying to get back into running, hopefully I can stick to it 4-5 times a week!

3. Went to the grocery store and bought lots of healthy foods. Part of the reason I have such a hard time eating healthy is because I am so used to convenient eating. I work in a restaurant so I can have anything I want at the push of a button plus, I am the youngest of 3 children and the only one who lives at home. My dad works late and usually gets dinner when he is out and my mom isnt much of an eater. I wish I had her appetite My mom cooks on the weekends but I am so used to just eating whatever I make on the weekdays, usually some type of frozen entree, which I dont mind but I dont think Justin is going to be okay with that lol.

4. I am counting down the days til my last day at my job. It causes me way too much stress and for nothing. Honestly waitressing should not be so stressful, but we are just managed extremely poorly

5. I went to the beach today and it made me realize I need to make more of an effort to go more before the summer is over

6. Justin hasnt called since the 4th and said he will call in 2 weeks so Im praying for a phone call this weekend.

7. I finalized all my decisions for furniture when I move to NC, now I just need to find somewhere to put it.

8. I am going to NC with Dani next month to find apartments and sign leases!

9. I was supposed to go out for a co-workers birthday tonight but decided not to. I already went out with them sunday and going out gets too expensive!

10. I finally read another chapter of a book I have been reading since the Spring. Normally I read tons of books over the summer but I am slacking so bad!!

Tourists

Earlier today, I took a trip to the beach. There was a family sitting next to me, taking pictures non stop and seeming like they had never been to a beach before. The tide started coming up and the dad got waay too into building a moat/wall to try to prevent the tide from coming up. I dont think the guy got the memo that the ocean is going to wash right over it haha.

Back on Track

I am finally getting back on track with things. Today I ran for the first time in a long long time. It was only 1 mile but it was hot outside, 95 degrees. The run itself was easy but the heat was a killer. In my break from running, I have been doing biggest loser DVDs that I bought off of Amazon.com They really are great and I would reccomend them to anyone. You can go at your own pace and are good for beginners thru athletes. The trainers give a lot of instuction and show a modified way for beginners and a more intense version of exercise for the more experienced. The workouts I have been using are Power Sculpt, Cardio Max, Weight loss Yoga and Bobs Bootcamp. Aside from that my eating hasnt been terrible but could definitely improve a lot. The fall is quickly aproaching and I am running out of time for my goals. Time to get serious!

Tough Week

This past week has not been an easy one this deployment. I have been feeling very blahh. Part of it is my anniversary approaching on Saturday and Justin being away for it but I think another thing was I took a 4 day mini haitus from working out. I think that took a toll on my mental well being so today I got back into it and did my biggest loser bootcamp dvd. I could just really use a phonecall right about now. But something I have realized is that I need to find something productive to do. Im looking into classes online tonight to take and enhance my resume. maybe a real estate class or tax class or anything related to business that will give me something to do. Since school got out, time has dragged and I feel so unproductive. I definitely need something to keep my mind occupied!

Short Speal

So today I finally got to go pick up my degree. As some of you know I had a huge issue getting my transcripts in last week so Im so happy thats finally dealt with and Im officially done with school. But I just wanted to write something here real quick. Over the last 4 years Justin has been amazing with school. He has always been mso supportive of me. He has come to classes with me on leave, come to the library with me to study, read papers, listened to problems, Ive talked to him about things I am learning in class and he is really interested. He has always told me how lucky I am to go to college and whenever he came to school with me he said he loved it there. He really has been the most supportive person in my life with school and I couldnt do it without him. I cant say enough how grateful I am for everything he has done. I know that I have been equally supportive to him over the last 3 years. Since the day he left for boot camp, Ive always been here for him. Through bootcamp, SOI, 2 deployments and everyday life at Lejeune. These last 3 years have been so hard. We have been apart for way too long. This saturday is our 1st wedding anniversary and we have been apart this first year of marriage. It has not been easy. But September 1st Im moving, we are finally going to be together. And these last few years have been a test. I think we are stronger than we could ever be as a couple. We have made it thru so much together, have supported eachother through everything and in October we finally get to be together again! He will be home safe and for good and I will be done with school. Finally 2 life goals checked off our list and the hardest 3 years of our lives behind us!!

Making Progress

Finally starting to make some progress in deployment goals. First, I have saved a decent amount of money so far and Im working the next week straight so hopefully that will be more money to put in the bank. but aside from that, I am 3lbs lighter than when I started working out again. Not a huge number but definitely a start. Now I just need everyone to help keep me motivated. Justin called yesterday and he always motivates me so I got that going to a few days but I will definitely need all your help in a few days. I hope everyone is having a good weekend! How are are you girls on your goals? Seeing other peoples progress definitely inspires me. Now off to work in my easy tones.

Bedtime

I am exhausted so this is going to be short, but I wanted to stick with blogging so I have to get it done. Today was a nice day at the beach and I had a tough cardio workout tonight. Im sore and tired but it feels great. I have a lot of work to do over the next 3 months but I know if I stick to it like I have been, it will be worth the pain. I hope everyone is sticking to their goals and have a great weekend! Justins Platoons Sat phone is finally fixed after a month of having a broken one so I have my fingers crossed for phone calls closer than 2 weeks at a time! Night all!

Yoga is no Joke!

So after a 2 month haitus from blogging, I am finally back. I have just had so much going on and this deployment is just taking such a mental toll on me mentally the last thing I want to do after a long day is come home and write. But I am trying hard to get back on track with my deployment goals. We have already reached the halfway mark and are on a steady track to homecoming. So now its time to work on my fitness goals and stick by them. So I really would like to lose 15lbs before Justin gets home. That would be my ideal weight. Eating habits have become some what of an issue. I work in a restaurant and it is soooo hard not to pick at food the whole time I am working. So this weekened I am going to bring healthy snacks to eat. Fruits, Pretzels nuts, etc. I have 5 new workout dvds I have been doing the last 3 nights. They are all very different which helps stay on track because I am not doing the same workout day after day. I have one Jillian Michaels dvd which is very hard. Then I have 4 Biggest Loser dvds. The thing about these DVDs is there are 3 levels on each. Level 1 is 20 minutes, Level 2 is 15 and Level 3 is 10. So What happens is you start off doing level one and when you feel comfortable you add on level 2 if that makes any sense. They are fun so far. Tonight I tried the Weight Loss Yoga dvd. And let me tell you my arms are almost too sore to type. It was a 35 minute Yoga workout and I was using my arms the entire time. And I was being held in plank position for a very long long time. It did make me feel good after. For about 45 minutes after I felt very tingly. And my whole body was shaking which is a good thing during yoga. I definitely worked every muscle in my body. So for now that is whats going on in my life. I have been so stressed lately with random things but the fact of the matter is, Justin is the light at the end of this tunnel, and homecoming is coming faster than I expected. More than halfway there!

My weekend

It has been a while since I last updated my blog. It has been a long/fun/crazy weekend. Friday started off with me going to the beach with my mom sister best friend and nephew. It was a beautiful day out and I am really working on my tan. I need to be tanned and in shape when Justin gets home. I came home and fell asleep for a quick cat nap. I woke up and got a call from Dani. I met her and her maid of honor sue in the city for a drink. Me and Dani, being the married old ladies that we are sat in a quiet booth and talked haha. It was a really good time and I was soo happy to see her. Hanging out with someone from 1/2 felt great. After that I headed back to my car in the parking garage where I got lost. The security guard had to help me and drive me to find my car. In my defense it was a 9 story garage that was very confusing. Another kid and his girlfriend also got into the security car. The kid said he had walked around all 9 floors and couldnt find his car and said that the garage was like a rubix cube. But I did finally find my car after a long drive and pressing the alarm. Saturday morning I woke up early to head to South Boston for the Marine Corps Honor Run. Justin ran the run 3 years ago so I was so excited to participate. I met Dani and Sue and there were Marines all over the place. I wore my shirt that I made for Justin. Sadly, it was raining out. I kept hoping it would pass....but didnt. Instead it got much worse, much much worse. It downpoured on us and I mean downpourned. We were soaked and my feet were completely immeresed in water. I was laughing because it really was funny but absolutely miserable. I came home from the run and fell asleep again. I had work at 4 and was hoping to meet up with Dani again after but I got out later than excpected. Instead I went out with some work friends for a drink down at the bar we hang out about 2 minutes away from my work. Today consisted of mothers day an absolutely crazy double at my work and now blogging. I need to write Justin a nice long motomail next because I wrote one saturday night but the internet messed up and it got erased. I hope everyone has a fun safe week!

Memorial Day

Above is a picture I wanted to share with everyone on here. This was taken a street over from where I live. Every year for Memorial Day a man in my town takes the time out to decorate his lawn like this. Every cross represents a Massachusetts soldier KIA in either Iraq or Afghanistan. He was one side dedicated to Iraq and the other to Afghanistan. He puts the cross a small angel, a ribbon and a picture, nametag and ribbon of the fallen heros. He is constantly upadated on new people to add. I think this is such an amazing thing. Also every telephone pole on his street gets an American flag and a yellow ribbon. It is an incredible sight and I am so grateful to have him in town.

Miss you

So I havent updated my blog in a while. Part of me has been busy but part of me just hasnt been in a great mood. I didnt hear from Justin for 19 days so it just made me not want to post. But he thankfully called so I should be good for about a week. Anyways, leading up to this deployment I kept telling myself how much easier it would be than the last one because it would be over the summer and summers fly but, but I never realized how much harder the summer would make it. The weather has been in the 80's and 90's the last week and it just makes me miss Justin so much more. We always have so much fun in the summers and have so many memories. I decided to dedicate this post to all the fun things we love doing together in the summer and look back on it next summer and do them all to make up for this one.
Going to the beach, falling asleep in the backseat of the car at the beach til 5am, camping, going to NC and being so nervous to see you after weeks apart, Roadtrips to and from NC, Swimming for hours, going to the driving range, going to the shooting range, watching the red sox and drinking cheap beer, going to the sox games, Taking day trips into boston and walking around for hours doing tourist things even though we live here, going to the beach at night and racing eachother to crush sandcastles that were left in the day time, watching you freeze in the New England ocean and not being used to it, Going fishing for hours listening to music bringing drinks and candles to keep the mosquitos away while we sit on the blanket for hours and talk, you cooking on the grille, having 4th of july parties and birthday parties for you, watching you start a fire, camping, making you take the fish off the hooks for me, going for walks after dinner, having you lead me down random paths at ames nowell, hanging out all day doing nothing and just being in love with eachother, lazy days in bed watching movies and eating all day, fireworks, sitting on the back of your truck eating icecream, walking around boston and having you give me a history lesson, driving aimlessly in NC and finding new places, and so many more little things you do that make me smile. I love you Justin come home soon and safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An afternoon post for once

So right now I am updating to you at 4pm. That is a big change from the 4am I am normally typing. But tonight I am going to try to fall asleep much earlier. I have a lot I want to get done tomorrow morning before I head to work. Other than that today is my last day in college. I finish all my finals. I am heading back to school soon for my 6pm final and thats going to be it. It is a really weird bittersweet feeling. I am really excited to be done but I wish Justin could be here. Today I had to say bye to my favorite professor. I have taken him 3 times and he is the best. His name is Professor Auslander. He is about 85 years old. He was a corpsman in WWII and has been so good to me. In february I missed the entire month of school so I could be with Justin before he left. He let me make up everything, and told me to take as much time making it up as I needed. Ive sat in his office and talked to him about Justin and just a few weeks ago, he bought a new marines hat and was so excited to show it to me. I have really grown attatched to him. Its like he is someone that knows what I am going through and he actually cares. Through all of school and work a lot of times people just dont get it. They arent flexible and its frustrating. He has always been so awesome. So on the bottom of my final I left him a note that said "Professor Auslander, Thank you so much for everything! You are hands down the best professor at the school and I learned so much in all of your classes. I will miss you but Ill be back to visit. Semper Fi" I know it will make him smile. He really is the best professor though. He hates text books and teachers who have never worked in the field they teach. He is a finance professor and teaches everything from memory and from actually working in the job. He has had many jobs including working on the new york stock exchange and Merrill Lynch. I am always impressed by how sharp he is still is for an 85 year old.
Aside from that, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I am going to do with my upcoming free time. As mentioned before, I want to start taking different classes at the gym and find something I really enjoy. I want to catch up on books Ive bought but havent gotten the chance to read, clean organize and throw out everything. Also now that I have more free time I can finally furniture shop guilt free. I normally am procrastinating doing homework but now I can whenever I want. I need to start making definite decisions though and work on a budget, Another thing I want to do is spend more time with my best friend. We have had complete opposite schedules the past semester so we are spending saturday together. Other than that not much else is going on. What are everyone elses goals for the next few months?

Spring Cleaning

Okay so the title of this post is spring cleaning. I mean that physically and mentally. Its 230am right now and today is my last day of school. I am going to have so much more free time on my hands and I want to schedule meaningful things into my time. For starters, I want to throw tons of stuff that I own away. I have so much clutter that is unneccessary, most of it from school. So I know that getting rid of it all will feel like a weight off my shoulders. Next, I really need to get into this healthy lifestyle thing. Theres so much I want to accomplish with my health and I think I am finally grown up to realize that its not just about losing weight and looking good, I really just want to feel good. Tonight I filled my zune with lots of podcasts. Things that inspire me. Some are stress relieving tips, exercise tips and others. One podcast I always subscribe to is from Quickanddirtytips.com Its a website that has really quick cute little bits of information for all types of things, public speaking, health, modern manners guy and the one I listen to The Nutrition Diva. This is a women who gives advice on tons of food related issues. What to eat, myths, benefits of certain foods, it is really great. If anyone has an ipod or zune I suggest downloading them but you can listen to them right off the website. Aside from that I want to set a gym schedule and I need to keep up with it. There are a lot of classes at the gym I am interested in taking, I need to find a workout buddy. Also after reading Danis post she inspired me to try yoga. I have always wanted to do it but never have so this is my chance. I want to also become a better runner. Before Justin left, he bought me new running shoes. He went for a run with me down on Onslow Beach and I couldnt even run 1/2 mile. Now I am running over 1.5 miles. I would love to run a 5k with him when he comes back. Something for a good cause close to us that would make us feel good. Overall I just really want to use this deployment time to feel rejuvinated. Get back on a regular sleep schedule, eat healthy and work out. I have lots of books I have bought but havent had the chance to read. I also want to pick one day off a month and do something for me, maybe get a pedicure/manicure/massage or something. I have felt so stressed and run down lately, I need to work on me. And I think that If I work on me, work on being happy and healthy, I will lose these pounds I want to lose and without the work. It will just happen on its own. Overall I just want to feel like me again.

1:30am we meet again

Hello Blog friends!
Its 1:30am and like always, I am wide awake. I have lots on my mind and cant sleep. Its strange how it is so hard to relax at night when I have time but in the afternoons I could nap for hours. Today is 13 days and counting since the last time I heard from my love. But a lot of other wonderful ladies in his battalion for phonecalls today so I am hoping mine is on its way soon! Today was a long day. I had my very last class ever. Now I am just 4 finals away from graduation. Then I went to AC Moore to get some stuff to work on Justins newest care package its theme is Bruins quest for the cup 2010. I didnt find much I liked there so I went o Michaels and found some cute stuff. The package is almost ready and I am so excited about it. I know Justin is going to love it. He is a huge hockey fan and played hockey all his life. Back when he was a senior in high school I would wake up at 4am to go to his hockey practice before school. And boy do I miss those days. They were so carefree and fun, we spent everyday together, always going on new adventures. I cant wait to have that back. So here are some pics from the new care package. I had lots of pictures to put in so there wont be so much blank space.


Tomorrow I just have to head to the store and buy everything to fill it and ship it out first thing thursday morning. I should have already had the pictures for the package but I dont due to a dumb mistake on my part. Today I was in a rush before leaving for work and I emailed my pictures to cvs to be printed. I selected the wrong store to pick them up at. So when I got out of work til 10 I drove to the 24 hour cvs only to find out that I sent them to the wrong store, so take 2 will be tomorrow. I have been looking online for a lot of creative food ideas to send. So if anyone has any suggestions I would love it. I know the regular chips, candy, granola bars, etc but I want to think of new things that are like actual food. I have a busy day planned tomorrow and I am really excited that its april 28th. We are almost through another month on the calendar. I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful day and finishes April on a good note. Goodnight Everyone!

Hoping

Hello everyone,
Right now its 245pm on April 26th. Only 4 days left of this month which makes me extremely happy. Its been 11 days since the last time I heard from Justin, BUT I just went on facebook and someone in his team called his wife so that has me really hoping for a call of my own. Hearing his voice would make me good to go again and motivated for at least a week. Other than that I havent updated in a few days. Since then I sent out 2 more packages to Justin and went spring clothes shopping. And I got 2 pairs of jeans a size smaller! I dont know if its all the running I have been doing or if its just the fit of the jeans haha but I am going to pretend that its because of my hard work at the gym and keep working hard. I woke up this morning and went for a run. Now I am home, supposed to be working on homework until I head to work in an hour and a half. Thursday is my last day of school. There are people Im going to miss but I am so excited to be done with school and get ready to move to North Carolina with my husband and all the wonderful ladies I have met from 1/2 I have really met some of the best friends there, even though I havent known them long and have never even met some of them in real life, it doesnt matter. They are so supportive and always know what to do to cheer me up. Friday night I also made a new tshirt. Me and Dani are going to marine week in Boston on May 7th and I wanted to make a shirt for it:

. Other than that my life is kind of doing the same old thing. I am ready for May to be here. I have lots of stuff planned. Marine week, graduation, 2 red sox games, fun work dinner, and hopefully I can throw some beach days in. Then in June me Nicole and Sarah rented a beach house at a military vacation place close to home owned by the air force. We are staying for a week. For now, its off to get some work done and hopefully get a phone call. I hope everyone has a fantastic day!!

Wishful

For some reason, I always do my best thinking while I am driving. Imagine if there was a way your thoughts were just magically transferred on paper, that would be amazing. Anyways, today I did a lot of thinking, since I got some bad news this morning. Not about Justin. And I am just so on edge lately. I think part of the reason I am so on edge is because in a few months I am going to have everything I have ever wanted. Justin will be home from him 2nd deployment and wont be on another one ever again. I will finally be with him in nc just having fun with friends until he is out, I will have graduated from college, married to the man of my dreams and just so so happy. All I need is for him to get back here safe. I am just so scared that something bad will happen to him. Its like I have been doing this marine thing for almost 3 years now. We are in the home stretch and its stressing me out more than ever that everything will be ripped away at the last second. I know I shouldnt think like this, and its depressing and I am sorry to everyone who reads this because I know you need motivation too and dont want to read about this, but it feels good just to vent and let it out. Whenever I talk to Justin he just sounds so calm. He tells me not to worry and I really do believe in him. I know he is amazing at his job and that gives me comfort, I just wish time would pass a little faster. I know we are making progress, it just seems we are making it at a snails pace. For now I am going to get ready for bed and hope for a nice productive day tomorrow full of homework, the gym, eating healthy and a phonecall from my wonderful husband!

Jumbled

At 2am this morning I was up wide awake and made a resolution to myself that starting today, I was going to start over. This deployment has been really hard on me so far and I am trying to take it one day at a time but Im finding it to feel impossible. So today, I ate much better than I have been, went for a 1.5 mile run at the gym and put together 2 new packages for Justin. I also went and got new iron supplements. I am anemic and have not been taking iron for months now. I feel so tired all the time and Im sure it is a mix of both the deployment and the defficiency but Im hoping this helps a little bit. Now its 930 and I am going to attempt going to bed soon. Staying up til 3 or 4 am definitely makes the days seem
10x longer than they need to be. I just need to get on a regular sleep pattern. So tonight I know I am going to need a little help falling asleep and Im going to take a sleeping pill. Hopefully within a week I will be falling back asleep at normal hours of the night instead of odd hours of the morning. The reason my title of this post is jumbled is because that is how I really feel lately. I feel like I am just sitting here waiting for something awful to happen everyday. I know that sounds terrible but its how I feel. I just wish I knew what was going on over there, I wish Justin could call more often to tell me he is okay. I feel like even when I am writing these posts they make absolutely no sense. I jump around from one topic to another, but that is how my brain has been lately. I have this massive to do list in my head and I cant focus on anything. Im not sure what exactly to do. But, I have been looking into packages at a local day spa and for like $150 you can do a 6 hour package. I have been thinking about doing something like that, to relax and feel refreshed. If anyone has any ideas on what to do to make this feeling go away I am very much open to suggestions.

Another night past midnight

So right now its midnight on April 21st, another day closer to having my loving wonderful husband back, this time for good. So far this deployment has had so many ups and downs. Some days, I feel like I can take it on and accomplish all my goals while he is gone, other days I am so sad, I have the worst feelings in the world and am constantly on edge. It has definitely been a rollercoaster. But for now, its 12am and a new day. I am going to try to take this day on and be happy. I am really trying to get back on track with my eating first and foremost. I have a special K protien shake in my fridge getting nice and cold for breakfast in the morning, then I am planning a long run at the gym. There are only 2-3 weeks left of school for me but between now and then I have a ton of work to do. 4 homework assignments, a strategic management paper, research paper, english portfolio and 4 finals stand between me and graduation. Tomorrow I have to force myself to get up and get the work done. Then hopefully I will be enjoying some much needed drinks with a few friends later tomorrow night. The one thing that can keep me motivated though is how supportive Justin is. Throughout college he really has been my biggest supporter. He reads all my papers, listens to my ideas, he has even gone to class with me when he has been on leave. The year before Justin left for bootcamp, he was a senior in high school and I was a freshman in college. He would come to the library with me all the time to work on homework. He has always been such an amazing support system. Throughout my never ending quest to lose this 15-20 pounds, he has always made me feel like I am beautiful. He makes me feel so good about myself all of the time. I am so lucky to have met him. He is honestly the sweetest most good hearted person you could ever meet. He never says anything bad about anyone, he is always a good person and truly cares. Because of that, he motivates me to do things I never thought I could. He gives me the strength to push through this deployment. When I go to the gym, he is what gives me the strength to keep running when my body tells me to give out. When I run, I put on Jack Johnson(Which is mine and Justins thing) then I just focus on something, the wall, a tree outside, a light anything and I just think about him. I think about how he is a combat veteran in 2 wars. How in these last 3 years he has pushed himself through more physical and mental challenges than the average person could handle. He doesnt even ask for any recognition for it. Instead he wakes up every morning just like any other day. And because of this, it makes me think, if he can do this, if he can go to afghanistan and work his ass off for 7 months, I can finish this run. Starting today, I want to start over fresh. I want to finish school strong, push myself hard in the gym and start taking care of myself the way I should. This is not how I envisioned this deployment going. It has been a lot bumpier than I ever imagined it would be this early on. But in the end, I know it will all be worth it. And in the end I want to be standing there, waiting for him to get off that bus, feeling accomplished, beautiful and healthy, ready to start our new lives together, finally.


The shoes I posted are the Nike Shox Justin bought me a few days before he left. Its time for me to put some serious miles on them!

Motivation

How come some days during this deployment it can be so easy to wake up motivated ready to take on the world and other days you dont even want to get out of bed? Today was an in between day for me. I guess I just had a case of the Mondays. But, I was bad and called into work sick to have a me day. so shhh. I actually got a lot done and caught up on a lot of work I have been putting off for a while. I just needed to take some time out for me which I havent done in a while. I feel like so far this entire deployment has been a blur. I havent put much thought into where Justin is or what he is doing. I kind of am just living my life normally and probably living in a state of denial which I know is unhealthy but hey if I can make this denial last a few more months I'll take it. Tomorrow is back to reality though class and work. As much as I say I hate being so busy, I am sure over the summer when I have more free time I will miss being so busy and having my mind off things. Aside from that, my nephew slept over last night which always makes me happy. He just turned 1 on April 7th and I cant believe how big he is getting. I feel like every time I see him he is a different person than the last. What I really need right now is a phonecall from Justin. Hearing his voice can always make me feel better for about 5 days. I also have a plan to get back on track with my whole healthy eating and working out tomorrow. I set my alarm nice and early to hit the gym before I go to class. I was doing good for a while but kinda stopped. I know if I dont get back on track I will hate myself when bathing suit weather starts up haha. Aside from that not much else new is happening in my life lately. Everytime I feel sad I just think of the new exciting life I am going to be starting in North Carolina pretty soon. I hope everyone has an awesome week!

My New Blog

So, I have wanted to start one of these for a while, especially since this deployment started but I just haven't found the time. To start off, I am Kristine, although most people call me Krissy. Im from Massachusetts and I am about to graduate from college in a few weeks. I am married to the most amazing man in the world, and if you read this blog I am sure you will hear all about him. He is a US Marine and is currently in Afghanistan. This is our second deployment and it never gets any easier. I wanted to start this blog to organize my thoughts. I have so many things running thru my head all day that its nice to have somewhere to sort them out. I have many goals and many stresses. First and most important is this deployment. So far it has gone by faster than I thought it would. I have been doing my best to keep it together and be strong for Justin and I think I have been doing a good job. Other than that, I am really trying to get into shape. Im hoping that having this blog hold me accountible for what I eat and when I exercise is a good start. Im finishing school in 3 weeks which is very exciting although I wish my husband could go to graduation. Another thing I am constantly working on is planning for my move. I am moving down to North Carolina when he gets back, but getting everything ready shopping for every single thing that needs to be put into a house can be overwhelming, especially trying to organize a whole move on your own. So I am sure I will be looking for plenty of advice from this site. So many other things are going on but I will save those for a later date. Im gonna end here but I look forward to getting to know everyone and having a place to unwind.